Commentary by Daniel T. Zanoza
He's a shameless self-promoter. He bloviates with the best of them and admits it. And he has one of the most entertaining political shows on television. I'm talking about Bill O'Reilly and The O'Reilly Factor (FNC--Fox News Channel).
However, besides the incredibly useless segment titled, "Body Language" with guest Tanya Reiman, O'Reilly's plan to have Americans boycott purchases of gasoline on Monday's is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. For those of you who aren't familiar with the Body Language segment, it is almost as bad as his weekly interview with sort of "conservative" comedian and radio show host, Dennis Miller. Each week, Miller makes a very serious attempt to be funny, but only rarely hits the mark. However, being the shameless political shill that I am, since Miller started leaning towards the conservative point of view, I started liking the guy. Well, let's put it this way, now I can stand listening to him whereas a photograph of someone like Bill Maher or Al Franken has me heading for the Dramamine in my medicine cabinet and that air sick bag my Aunt Frieda gave me after her last trip to Florida. I guess being a pack rat has some benefits after all.
But, Bill, how would Americans boycotting Joe's corner gasoline station on Monday's help relieve skyrocketing fuel costs? Isn't it true company-owned and independent gas stations aren't the ones making a killing off the escalating oil prices? As I understand it, local distributors make most of their profits from the sale of Twinkies, Coca-Cola and beer. By the way, isn't it great we are told not to drink and drive, but when I want a cold one, I send my wife to the local Gas City? Some stations even have drive-ups to make it easier to get alcohol for that long trip across the state or across the nation. What a country!
Again, as usual, I digress. Won't drivers simply buy more gas on Sunday or some other week day, if they to decide to go along with your suggested Monday boycott? In fact, wouldn't the same principle apply to a Monday gasoline boycott as they do to cities, counties and states which don't sell alcohol on Sunday's? Otis Campbell didn't go through the D.T.'s in Mayberry because Mayberry was located in a dry county. Otis made his plans to get his fire water in other ways and so will those who will need to drive their cars on the day of your planned boycott.
What would Body Language specialist Tonya Reiman say about your idea? You know who I'm talking about. Some of your segments with her were funnier than Dennis Miller could ever be. The only problem is, Ms. Reiman wasn't trying to be funny.
"Bill, do you notice that Mrs. Smith's right eyebrow is arched a bit?"
"No, Tanya, what does that mean?"
"Well, it doesn't mean much, but Mrs. Smith's elbow is pointed outward and that tells us a lot."
"Oh, I get it, it's just the same as when Mr. Jones' finger was bent to the left when we analyzed his body language last week."
"Well, Bill, it turned out Mr. Jones had actually slammed his finger in his car door after he was fumbling for his keys while trying to hold a six-pack in one hand and pump gas with the other."
"Great, Tanya. Can't wait to have you on next week when we will be analyzing why Barack Obama stutters when he doesn't have a teleprompter."
"Well, Bill, Obama's stuttering doesn't have anything to do with body language, but we might talk about how his ears frequently start flapping."
"Can't wait, Tanya."
Back to your Monday gasoline boycott idea. The truth is Americans drove 11 billion fewer miles in March of 2008 compared to March of 2007. It seems either the public is taking fewer unnecessary trips or they simply can't afford to drive as much as they used to. Here's an idea. Why don't you suggest viewers call their Congressmen and demand the reduction of fuel taxes? And while they're on the phone, they could ask why we aren't drilling in ANWR or tapping the vast amounts of offshore oil in the Atlantic, Pacific and Gulf of Mexico. Then, they can bring up the topic of having the EPA lower the need for multiple gasoline blends across the country which change according to the seasons. And, finally, your viewers might address the need for a few more refineries to be built in the United States, along with putting aside political correctness when it comes to the safe use of nuclear energy.
Here's some of the things your viewers shouldn't discuss with their Congressman. There shouldn't be legislation mandating every new car get 50 miles to the gallon. There are many, many people who consider themselves fortunate simply to have an automobile. Most Americans don't have the luxury of going out and buying the latest $40,000 hybrid. We also should not play footsy with nations like the former Soviet Union and China which are polluting the world like drunken sailors and sucking up more oil than their fair share.
There are some individuals, including Al Gore, who are very happy to see gasoline prices go as high as possible. Their theory is, the more we pay per gallon, the less we will drive. The only problem with that philosophy is high gasoline prices hurt the poor the most. Millionaires don't care how high gas goes.
Mr. O'Reilly, I love your show. America probably learned more about Hillary Clinton after your short interview with the former First Lady than they did following 14,000 primary debates hosted by the likes of former Democratic operatives, including Tim Russert, Chris Matthews and George Stephanopoulos. Hey, why are all these guys former Democrats and journalists at the same time? I guess that's a subject for another day.
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"He's a shameless self-promoter. He bloviates with the best of them and admits it. And he has one of the most entertaining political shows on television".
True, true, and true. One than is not true is when he says, "I'm looking out for you". Get over your preening self-importance Bill, I am looking out for myself.
Posted by: John Austin Personal trainer | May 31, 2008 at 04:01 PM
My idea is to divide and conquer the oil companies.
There are too many speculators out there counting on wholesale buyers (oil companies). The old idea was to not fill-up your tank on Tuesday and Wednesday (did not work). This time boycott ONE gasoline brand at a time until they lower their price (going out of business sale). This also serves another purpose, there will be one less wholesale buyer in the open market to bid on the barrel of oil. One less buyer (One less bid) that speculator investor will get.
Which gas station to boycott first? Then, at what price will we start buying from that gas station?
Posted by: Bochica | June 10, 2008 at 02:47 PM