Franken to Kennedy, from Minnesota to New York, Senate Madness

U.S. Senate Turning into Celebrity Star Search by Daniel Zanoza, Executive Director 

 

First of all, I would like to propose a bail-out be given to the voters in Minnesota.  It might sound like I'm a little off track here, but let me explain.  Obviously, the land of a thousand lakes--or a million lakes or whatever--is suffering from a huge deficit.  No, I'm not talking about the fiscal kind, I'm referring to a lack of common sense which was made evident by that state's attempt to elect so-called comedian Al Franken to the U.S. Senate.

 

When I first heard Franken was running against incumbent Norm Coleman, I thought it was a joke.  Forgive me, but Franken is an idiot.  He has no credentials that would lead anyone to believe this former member of the Saturday Night Live cast is qualified to hold one of the most important seats in U.S. government.

 

Therefore, I am proposing a quick infusion of common sense into the state of Minnesota.  Perhaps we can do it through the drinking water or with an aerosol spray.  But it's clear the arctic cold has numbed some parts of the brain which lead to cognitive thinking up there and these people need our help as soon as possible.

 

It is conceivable the whole situation may become moot unless the Democratic Party is allowed to steal the election away from Coleman.  A recount of the November 5th vote indicated Coleman had won for a second time, but absentee ballots keep popping up in the trunks of cars, on the bottom of frozen lakes and stuck to the shoes of Minnesota's Democratic Secretary of State.  Franken may make it to the Senate yet.

 

The influx of celebrities into the U.S. Senate seems to be a fast-growing trend.  Caroline Kennedy, daughter of the late President John F. Kennedy, is the frontrunner for Hillary Clinton's soon to be vacated Senate seat in New York.  And, folks, believe it or not, Fran Drescher's name has also popped up as a possible replacement for the former First Lady.

 

It's madness.  Thankfully, a Democrat has stepped up in the Empire State and appealed for sanity as he brought up Caroline Kennedy's lack of credentials.  However, don't expect these words to have any impact because we are living in a society where celebrity rules.

 

No wonder our political leaders are so lacking in what it takes to govern.  Earlier, some may have believed I was picking on the state of Minnesota for the Franken fiasco.  After all, isn't New York doing the same thing?  But you have to remember Minnesota also elected the head-shaved, fuzzy boa-wearing Jesse "The Body" Ventura as Governor just a few short years ago.

 

It didn't take Ventura long to prove he was the victim of one too many pile-drivers during his professional wrestling career and the wacky Gov was sent packing.  I guess a few people have escaped the impact of the numbing cold.

 

Of course, there is Arnold Schwarzenegger who is out there in California.  But again, he is a Governor, not a member of what is supposed to be the most sober body in the legislative branch of our federal government.  The "crazies" are supposed to be in the U.S. House of Representatives.  This body sends fruitcake bills over to the Senate.  Respectable and prudent members who represent that body will make everything right by leveling out the bumps with thoughtful debate and responsible actions.  At least that's the way it's supposed to be.

 

Can you just see it?  Al Franken joining forces with Fran Drescher, introducing a bill to make Hollywood the honorary capitol of the United States.

 

Subsequently, since Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich's plan to sell president-elect Barack Obama's vacated Senate seat to the highest bidder was foiled by the feds, I have some nominees in mind for the land of Lincoln.  Perhaps Carrot Top would fit in nicely on Capitol Hill.  Let's not forget Gilbert Gottfried, he might offer up some splendid oratory in the Senate as well.

 

Seriously, is it any wonder we are handing out billions of dollars of bail-outs like there's no tomorrow.  And there probably isn't.

 

America is at a crisis.  Our culture apparently has no soul.  Fifteen minutes of fame has become the objective of many in our society.  Some predict America will not be a major power in the world just a short 50 years down the road.  I used to think this was madness, but now I think madness has infiltrated the thought process of our entire nation, from government to big business.  Perhaps there are those who want it this way.  If so, they are winning the day.

 

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Comments

[John Emerson]

"A recount of the November 5th vote indicated Coleman had won for a second time, but absentee ballots keep popping up in the trunks of cars, on the bottom of frozen lakes and stuck to the shoes of Minnesota's Democratic Secretary of State."

This is false. Coleman hasn't even won once. Until the automatic recount required by law is finished, there's no winner. Coleman was ahead in the first count, but only by .007%.

The "ballots in the trunk of a car story" was never true. Lots of stuff sound convincing when you hear it on TV but actually didn't happen that way. Senator Coleman and Republican Governor Pawlenty are not backing the claims that Hannity and Coulter are making. People around here know better.

[Charlie]

Sadly the mental capacity of the voters is rapidly declining, as it has been for a century. Now it seems that the slope has become steeper. When I was teaching, I noticed the lower levels arriving each year. It is good that some are being home schooled, maybe there will be a few to pick up the pieces.